Recently, a friend recently asked me how I got the courage to leave my husband. Courage is an interesting thing. We all have more than we think we have. Courage comes as a result of realization of the truth about ourselves. Sometimes truth comes in bits and pieces. Sometimes it’s completely obvious; many times it’s subtle. Sometimes it comes like a freight train and knocks you flat.
Mine came in a book a dear friend gave to me as a gift. The book was called, Simple Abundance, and it was given to her by her mother and she was passing it on to me. I have since passed it onto another dear friend of mine who is struggling. So what did this book do? Well, the purpose of this daybook is to help us lost souls find happiness.
Happiness…should be easy we think, but let me tell you, happiness takes work. I remember reading the book and thinking, “he would never allow me to do this,” and “how am I going to find two hours to soak in a tub, with candlelight.” “This is impossible (with him), that is impossible.” It got to the point that the book was making me cry and I had to stop reading it. And when I did mention some of the ideas in the book, I was told I was crazy, selfish, childish…that I wanted to be eighteen again. Yeah I want to be eighteen again. What’s wrong with that? I have no intention of acting my age. In fact last week at work one of the youngsters in the office told me I reminded him of a teenager because I was ‘much too happy.’ I told him there is never such a thing as ‘much too happy,’ in fact ‘much too serious’ makes you ‘much, much too old at a much too quick pace.’ He frowned. I was tempted to tell him that he should have stopped by my office the day before—during my serious PMS episode—and he would have experienced an example of ‘not too happy,’ but I bit my tongue on that one.